Well this morning my mom asked me if I wanted to go with her to the cementary, so she can visit her fathers grave.
Even tho that guy died 11 years ago, I still remember him as it was yesterday, guy figured he has lung cancer, died within 26 days.
So I go there, getting pissed on a way, kept telling my mom how to drive and what to do. Almost said let me out of the car or whatever. But we did get there, I saw her taking pills, I guess whoever said “time kills everything” was lying.
I was just there removing the weed and other plants that placed their roots on the grave. While I was doing that mother was just staring there or whatever, then she started helping me too. We didnt say one word for a very long time, until this thought just went though my head.
She could’ve been doing this on your grave, some year ago, you lived … so I tilt my head up and wanted to tell her what I was thinking off, and she says: “yea, you wouldnt believe it, but I was thinking about the same thing”. Then we both continued removing the weed and didnt say one thing.
I thought some other girl, few graves below, reading something, something like peotry, it was very cliche, very blunt, until I actually realized what he was talking about with her “poem”. With that last sentance I stopped listening to her: “small or big, my brother, you’ll aways remain in my heart as long as I am alive”.
I read something off my granfathers gravestone. And said: “Let’s go”
All that puts you into a weird state of mind, dont give a shit about the world around you, dont take it all to your heart or our head, clear out, be a pussy, be a mice … it comes and just goes away.
And again once I got home I was carrying this jug, and I got pissed of again and threw it on the ground, as I said it comes and comes as everything in life and life itself.