Concrete monument

October 24, 2006 – 14:10 by Adnan Hodzic

Well this morning my mom asked me if I wanted to go with her to the cementary, so she can visit her fathers grave.

Even tho that guy died 11 years ago, I still remember him as it was yesterday, guy figured he has lung cancer, died within 26 days.

So I go there, getting pissed on a way, kept telling my mom how to drive and what to do. Almost said let me out of the car or whatever. But we did get there, I saw her taking pills, I guess whoever said “time kills everything” was lying.

I was just there removing the weed and other plants that placed their roots on the grave. While I was doing that mother was just staring there or whatever, then she started helping me too. We didnt say one word for a very long time, until this thought just went though my head.

She could’ve been doing this on your grave, some year ago, you lived … so I tilt my head up and wanted to tell her what I was thinking off, and she says: “yea, you wouldnt believe it, but I was thinking about the same thing”. Then we both continued removing the weed and didnt say one thing.

I thought some other girl, few graves below, reading something, something like peotry, it was very cliche, very blunt, until I actually realized what he was talking about with her “poem”. With that last sentance I stopped listening to her: “small or big, my brother, you’ll aways remain in my heart as long as I am alive”.

I read something off my granfathers gravestone. And said: “Let’s go”

All that puts you into a weird state of mind, dont give a shit about the world around you, dont take it all to your heart or our head, clear out, be a pussy, be a mice … it comes and just goes away.

And again once I got home I was carrying this jug, and I got pissed of again and threw it on the ground, as I said it comes and comes as everything in life and life itself.

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